Decisions

The age of Bar Mitzvah is the age at which a child becomes an adult. What is the difference between a child and an adult? Why is an adult considered more mature than a child; and why is an adult usually involved in more grown-up activities than a child? A child is not necessarily any less intelligent than an adult. A child's emotions are just as strong as an adult's. The difference lies neither in intellect or emotion, but in a third aspect of the psyche; caring and compassion. A person can know about a situation but it doesn't affect him if he doesn't care.

A famous story illustrates this point.

An illiterate farmer lived in a small, out of the way, farming settlement in Russia. Being that he was uneducated, he decided to hire a tutor to teach his children. The tutor lived with the family. One day the farmer received a letter. He asked the tutor, being the only one in the house who knew how to read, to read the letter to him. He read the letter and then told the farmer what the letter said. He read that the farmer's father had just passed away. Upon hearing this, the farmer fainted. The tutor was surprised. "Why did you faint? I'm the one read the letter. You only heard the letter being read."

Didn't the tutor realize that this was terrible news? Yes, in fact, he understood it better, since he was the one reading, but it wasn't his father. He couldn't care as much as the farmer.

Life is full of decisions. A mature person decides his priorities and follows them all the way, even though it means giving up other things. He invests all of his resources into those things that he cares about. Some decisions will be right and some wrong, but it is important that one make them. The human being is superior to the sheep. Sheep travel in flocks, but none of them is leading. Each one follows the others. If one sheep would accidentally wander off the edge of a cliff, all the others would probably follow after it. They need a shepherd. Helen Keller wrote, "Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose."

Success in life comes from efficient use of one's time. Time is the most precious commodity of all, and the quality of one's life can be measured by how much use they made of it. The better the time is spent, the more that will be accomplished. The key to success is not to view life as a checklist. Life is not always the way you want it to be. Don't make a wish list and then go about completing one item at a time, trying to check off all items on the list. You remain unsatisfied, for you will never get to the end of the list. Live in the moment. Do now what is most important. Do what is best to do right now. Then your time will always be well spent. At the end of the day don't ask yourself how many goals you accomplished. Ask yourself how much time you spent doing what was most important.

A man once asked a Chassid, "What is the most important thing to your Rebbe?" "What ever he is doing at the moment," the Chassid replied.

Since you know that what you are doing now is the most important, think only about the task at hand. Don't waste time thinking about other things. They aren't as important as this. Your time will be put to better use because you will not be disturbed by thoughts of other activities. You will not waste time worrying about the next move.

Once, the Previous Rebbe had to go on a dangerous mission to Moscow to intercede with the terrible government on behalf of the Jews. It was a great personal risk, but it was too important to forgo. Certainly a very nerve wracking situation. An hour before his train was to leave, the man who would later succeed him as Rebbe, found him calmly engrossed in his learning. "I know that one should trust in G-d and not let his worries about the future disturb him, but this far?" he asked the Previous Rebbe. "Yes," was the reply, "this is the meaning of success with time."

The first step is to determine you priorities. What are the most important things in your life? What do you most want to achieve? What things are important for you to maintain? You should have at least a general idea of the relative importance of your various priorities. Then do whatever is most important to do right now, and don't let anything of lesser importance distract you. Once you have completed your task, it is no longer a priority. Decide what is now important and do that. Helen Keller wrote," I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble."